Resurrection
by NatesMama
Summary: The Gravedigger Trial is about to start, and some secrets and truths are about to come to light. This is NOW COMPLETE...waiting to start a sequel. Look for it this summer.
1. The Deal

"If I could have a moment with Dr. Brennan and Dr. Hodgins alone?" Caroline ushered Booth, Cam, Sweets and Angela out of the conference room at the Hoover, closing the door tightly behind them.

Outside in the bullpen, Angela looked at Booth curiously. "What do you think they're talking about in there? We all know what happened when they were buried by the Gravedigger, why can't we be there for them?"

Booth dragged his gaze away from the shuttered windows of the conference room where he had been trying to get a glimpse of what was happening inside. "I don't really know, Ang. Maybe Caroline thought it would be easier to go over the more…gruesome aspects of their ordeal without all of us there." Booth didn't really believe this, but none of the other options he considered made any more sense.

"But we were all there when it happened…well, except Sweets. What could they have to hide? We know everything." Cam was just as confused as the others.

Inside the conference room, Caroline Julian pulled two evidence bags out of one of the numerous boxes containing evidence for the Gravedigger trial littering the room. Each bag contained one sheet of dirty, crumpled paper. Brennan and Hodgins exchanged a look, both fully aware of what the papers were and what they meant.

"Listen, cheries….I know that this is difficult, but I also know that you two are scientists and can handle this in the context that it needs to be handled. But I wanted to offer you a deal." Caroline leveled her gaze directly at Brennan as she spoke.

Stomach rolling in fear, Brennan regarded Caroline dubiously. "What kind of deal, exactly?"

Hodgins stayed quiet and let the scene unfold. He already suspected what Caroline was going to offer.

"You both know what these letters,' She waved them in the air as she spoke, "contain. And we all know how personal these letters are. We also know that, as evidence, the defense had access to them." Taking another deep breath, Caroline decided that this was going to have to be like tearing off a band aid. "Ms. Taffett's attorney is going to insist that you both read these letters in open court in order to show that any evidence collected was done without objectivity and that you all might have manipulated said evidence in order to secure a conviction out of a sense of revenge."

"What?!?" Brennan was incensed. "We collected all evidence properly and within proper protocols!" She studiously avoided the personal nature of Caroline's statement and chose to focus on the implication that she, of all people, could not be objective.

"Dr. Brennan." Caroline sat down and stared at Brennan intently. "Your part of the case aside, we all know that encouraging Agent Booth's brother to steal a body from the FBI was anything but an objective act on your part."

"That's nonsense. I simply utilized the tools at my disposal. Getting Jared to appropriate Vega's body was the most rational course of action in order to find out where Booth was being held. Nothing more." Brennan huffed and crossed her arms in irritation.

"No offense, but that's bullshit, Dr. Brennan." Caroline was one of the few people on the planet who was not intimidated by the scientist.

"What? Why?"

"Please try to remember that I've read the letter you wrote to Agent Booth, Dr. Brennan. I can read between the lines." Caroline tried not to roll her eyes.

"I didn't write anything between the lines. It's all right there." Brennan pointed at the letter still enclosed in the plastic. "This is ridiculous!"

"Dr. B." Hodgins said softly.

"What, Hodgins? You approve of this kind of manipulation?" Brennan glared at her colleague, daring him to take Caroline's side.

"No. Of course I don't. But even you can see that because of how close each of us is to this case that challenging our objectiveness is the most rational course of action in order to defend the client." Hodgins waited for the inevitable Brennan Logic Storm that he was sure was headed his way. He was shocked when, after a moment of contemplation, Brennan spoke.

"You're right, Hodgins. I apologize, Caroline."

"What?"

"I am?"

Brennan shook her head. "I may not like it, but that is how the justice system works. I accept your explanation, Dr. Hodgins."

Caroline stood again, picking up the letters and placing them in front of Brennan and Hodgins respectively. "Good. So, now here is my deal. Since these letters are so personal," She looked to Brennan, daring her to protest. When none came, she continued. "I suggest that you both speak to the people you addressed the letters to. Let them read them in private, so they don't have to hear all this in open court for the first time."

Brennan and Hodgins looked at each other, both wearing identical expressions of wariness. After a moment of silent communication, they agreed.

"I would like to accept that deal, Caroline. Thank you for your consideration." Brennan nodded at the prosecutor.

"Yeah, thanks Caroline. You didn't have to do this." Hodgins agreed.

"You're right, I didn't. But for some godforsaken reason I like you squints and I really like Booth, so anything I can do to ease this case for you I am more than willing to do." She almost smiled, and then moved to leave the room. "Should I send in Ms. Montenegro and Agent Booth, or do you need a few moments?"

Once again reaching a silent agreement, Hodgins answered for both of them. "No, send them in, please."

When Caroline exited the room, everyone stood and ganged up on her.

"What is going on?" Cam asked.

Booth grabbed Caroline's arm. "Is Bones okay?"

"How's Jack?" Angela looked like she was going to cry any second.

"Everyone, calm down! You people are completely overwhelming, sometimes!" Caroline shook her head in mock exasperation. "Ms. Montenegro, Agent Booth…your presence is requested in the conference room. Everyone else, please wait out here." With that, Caroline headed off to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee, leaving the group to stare after her.

Booth looked at Angela in confusion. "Do you know what this is about?"

"No, but I guess we're about to find out. Let's go, Booth." Angela opened the door and led him in.

When they entered the conference room, they found Hodgins sitting alone at one end of the large table, while Brennan sat at the opposite end, far away. They both looked up and indicated the seats next to them. Booth and Angela separated and took their seats, both knowing instinctively who to go to. Hodgins took the lead.

"Okay. I know you're both confused, but this is easy to explain." He took a deep breath and looked to Brennan, who nodded slightly. "When we were…um, underground in that car, we both wrote a…well, a goodbye letter. Saying the things that we wanted to say in case we didn't…in case, um. Well, anyway, apparently the defense counsel is going to read them in open court, and Dr. B and I decided to let you both read them in private first."

Shooting a confused look at each other, Booth and Angela turned to Brennan and Hodgins in anticipation, effectively cutting the other couple off and creating some privacy in the large room.

"Bones?" Booth placed his hand on Brennan's knee and indicated the letter still sitting untouched in front of her. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I have to, Booth. Otherwise, you'll have to hear it in open court, and I do not wish for you to hear it that way. This is the most rational way to handle this…situation." Brennan continued to look down at where Booth's hand rested, not questioning the intimate contact, even drawing comfort from it. Pushing the letter towards him, Brennan nodded to Booth. "Please. Read it."

Booth picked up the plastic-covered letter, his heart in his throat. Flashes of the horror of that day flew through his mind….everyone standing on the edge of the quarry looking for any indication of their tomb, the puff of smoke that led Booth to run like a madman to find them, digging in the dirt like a man possessed, seeing her small hand reaching through that premature grave to clutch his…all of it swamped him like the remnants of a nightmare relived. Taking a deep breath, Booth began to read.


	2. Angela

I've broken Brennan's letter down into three parts. Angela's part is first, followed by Zack and then finally Booth.

~*~*~*~

Angela,

I know I didn't say this enough, but I love you. You've been my constant tether to the real world, the person who keeps me from completely slipping into my depths of reason and logic and shows me the world for what it is and can be, wondrous and beautiful. You always said that I didn't take the time to stop and smell the flowers, and you were right. But you held the bouquet under my nose and forced me to experience things I never would have otherwise, and for that I will be forever grateful. Please do me a favor and watch over Zack, make sure he doesn't make the same mistakes I did, and lives for the moment on occasion. And make sure that Booth knows that I know he did everything in his power to save us, and that I never lost faith. I'll never be able to repay your friendship, but I hope that mine was enough to start.

-Bren


	3. Zack

Zack,

I love you, Zack and I am so fascinated by the man you're becoming. Aside from the scientist in you, your depth of feeling for the rest of humanity is really just starting to emerge, and while I can't take any credit for that, I still feel a sense of pride when I see how far you've come. Please look to Booth to see the perfect example of what a good, true and honest man can be. I know that he scares you, but he does care and that is everything. Make sure you take care of Angela and let her know that you're all there for each other. It's important to depend on those you care about, and who care for you. Always remember that.

-Dr. Brennan


	4. Booth

Booth,

This is perhaps the hardest part of this letter to write. While I am no good at dealing with feelings, and I am not a heart person, I know you are and that you'll understand what I am trying to say.

When I blackmailed you into taking me into the field, at first it was my way of helping the dead find a home, to work with you to give them a voice and final justice. But as our partnership evolved, I found that so much more than just a fulfilling new aspect of my work started to emerge. I found a friend, a confidant and a true example of what kind of person I wanted to be. Someone honest, trustworthy, loving, steadfast and brave…everything we all strive to be, I think. You have become more important to me than I ever intended, and I couldn't be happier about that. My only regret is that you will feel guilty somehow, that you'll think you could have done something else to save us. Please don't do that to yourself. I know (Hodgins says its faith and I think I am inclined to agree at this point) that you did everything in your power to find us. I know that because it's what I would have done had our situations been reversed. I would have tried to move heaven and Earth to find you, and I sometimes think that your feelings mirror mine in their depth, so I know you would have done the same. You've become one of my best friends, despite our differences…or maybe because of them, I don't know. (Yes, there are things I don't know.) I hope that you stay in touch with the other squints and use them to lean on when you need it. I know that they'll need your strength, so don't hesitate to use theirs. Please be happy, Booth. I'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me, but please try and do that for me. Just be happy, Seeley.

Love,

Bones


	5. Reaction Time

Sorry this took so long to get back to, but with Christmas coming I've been a little busy.

I appreciate all the reviews. Your kind words are my muse.

As for this chapter and the next few, they will be all about Brennan's letter. I will, eventually, get to Hodgins' letter as well, but his was quite obviously to Angela as a declaration of his love and I thought that it was more important to cover Brennan's missive than his. And just a reminder, please remember that Booth's guilt stems from the fact that he was boinking Cam at the time that Brennan and Hodgins were Gravedigger-napped.

As always, I don't own Bones or any of the characters therein.

* * *

Reaction Time

Booth was torn between wanting to reread Brennan's letter over and over again and not wanting to look like a slow-reading moron. He kept staring at the letter, his fingers tracing the words in her decisive script through the protective plastic. There were many, many times that he had felt guilty about his rekindled relationship with Cam, back when she first came to the Jeffersonian…but this one moment was, by far, the worst. The shame washed over him like a tidal wave, making his face flush and his eyes water.

He finally looked up at Brennan; wanting to see what she was feeling in her eyes…needing to see that she still felt the same way about him. The way she had felt when she wrote this desperate and premature goodbye. When he finally met her gaze, he saw a steely look of determination fall over her visage. She was already compartmentalizing before he even got a chance to explore what she had written really meant. The thought that she could push aside something so monumental so quickly started to make his blood boil…until he saw it. A small, single tear escaping her eye, tracing it's way down her cheek and falling onto her blouse.

"Bones?" Booth reached over and took her hand in his, lightly caressing her palm with his thumb. He noticed that her hands were shaking. "Are you okay?"

A sob escaped her throat and she dropped her head down, holding it in her hands. Booth leaned over her back and held her, at first awkwardly, until she turned slightly and her head was cradled in his lap. He simultaneously rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her hair, muttering soothing words and endearments he wasn't even sure she could hear.

Angela and Hodgins' attention were drawn to the other side of the room at Brennan's sudden outburst. Hearing her best friend's heartbreaking sobs, Angela moved to stand but was held by Jack. "Ang. Just let them get this out, okay? Booth's got her, she's okay."

Angela could hardly argue with his logic on that point. He was right, Booth definitely had Brennan.

Waiting for the inevitable stiffening of her back and rejection of his comforting, Booth continued to hold Brennan and whisper in her ear. At some point, he realized that he had said something to her that he couldn't take back or quantify again with that asinine "in an atta-girl kind of way", but at this point he figured it was either go for broke and accept the inevitable crushing heartbreak or make himself the happiest man on the planet. Thankfully, Bones hadn't seemed to notice what he'd said, and when she finally began to sniffle and sat up on her own, she only gave him a watery smile and asked him to get her out of there.

"Anything you say, Bones." Booth stood, nodded at Angela and Hodgins, and led a still-sniffling Brennan from the room. He gave Caroline a quick look, was rewarded with a small smile and a nod back, and escorted Brennan towards the elevators, pointedly ignoring Cam and Sweets as they left.

"Well, obviously Dr. Brennan is still dealing with deep-seated feelings about her time underground, even after three years. Perhaps I should go after them and offer-"

"Shut up, Sweets." Cam rolled her eyes in the general direction of the boy doctor. "Booth has it under control."

"But Dr. Saroyan, Booth isn't a trained psychologist. He isn't qualified to help Dr. Brennan." Sweets stood and started towards the elevators.

"Dr. Sweets!" The sharp retort from the diminutive federal prosecutor stopped Sweets in his tracks. "First of all, to assume with no evidence that her Gravedigger ordeal is the reason Dr. Brennan is crying is stupid and short-sighted at best. Secondly, you were not here for the aftermath of that case, and a professional touch is not what is needed here. Finally, if anyone is _qualified _to help Dr. Brennan about this particular topic, it is Agent Booth. So sit down, shut up and mind your own damn business!"

Sweets was already sitting before Caroline was finished uttering her last word.


	6. Auld Lang Syne

Chapter Six~Auld Lang Syne

Angela,

I know this isn't fair or right, but I'm going to be selfish here and tell you that I am hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with you. I didn't have the guts to tell you to your face, but I have to say it now, just in case things don't work out and I never get the chance to say it to you out loud. I hope that some day you can forgive me for that. Just know that I cherished every minute I spent in your presence, and that no matter what, you meant everything to me.

Jack

Angela sat holding the letter Hodgins wrote, unconsciously imitating Booth's earlier actions by softly tracing the writing on the plastic-covered paper. Sighing, she looked up to find Jack staring at her, waiting for a reaction. As she was about to speak, Brennan began sobbing, and eventually Booth led her out of the room. After they closed the door behind them, Angela managed to return Hodgins' intense gaze.

"I can't believe you felt this way back then, Jack. It's…I don't know, humbling, I guess is the word."

Letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, Hodgins smiled hopefully. "So you don't think it was selfish, leaving you with something like that?"

"Oh God, no!" Angela reached to throw her arms around him, trying to comfort herself as much as him. "It's the most romantic thing I've ever received. Ever. To know that you were thinking about me when you could have been breathing your last breath…it's what sonnets are written about. I don't know what else to say."

Breathing in her lightly perfumed hair, Hodgins sighed. "Thanks, Ang. Really. And I meant every word of it. I just needed you to know, so I could go without anything unresolved, you know? Even if it wasn't exactly a resolution, it was the best I could do."

"Thank you, Jack. It means the world to me." They sat there holding each other for what seemed like hours, just reveling in their closeness, remembering a time when everything seemed so much easier. "So…"

"You're wondering what Brennan's letter says, aren't you?" He knew her so well, it was a little scary at times.

Angela chuckled, releasing her hold on him and standing up. "I am. But as tempting as it is to walk over there and read it, I know I won't betray her trust. Besides, apparently the whole world will hear what it says in court."

"Good God. I forgot about that for a second." Standing to walk her out of the room, Hodgins cringed. "I hope that it won't be too hard on her and Booth. They're both just so fragile."

Not for the first time, Angela marveled about Jack's sensitivity. "They are. Lets pray this brings them closer together, and doesn't drive them apart."

"Amen to that." They walked out of the room together, leaving both letters sitting undisturbed on the conference table.


	7. Confessional

Sorry this update took so long. The holidays, you know.

I don't own Bones. *sigh*

* * *

Chapter Seven: Confessional

Booth led Brennan into her apartment, one arm wrapped around her shoulders, the other taking her purse and leading her to the sofa.

"Bones, is there something I can get you? Water?" He was at a loss at this point. She hadn't said a word in the truck on the way over, just staring out the window the entire time.

Brennan nodded in agreement and laid her head back. She was mentally and physically exhausted and completely unprepared to deal with the conversation that she knew was about to take place. But she knew it had to be done. Beating around the bush was no longer an option, and this dance they had been doing for years was about to come to an end.

Booth came back from the kitchen, handed her the water bottle and sat next to her. He stayed close, but not close enough to be touching. He imitated her position, lying back and staring at the ceiling.

"I was incredibly hurt when I realized that you were with Cam." Her quiet admission might as well have been accompanied by a thunderclap, as much as it rocked him to the core. "I knew that I had no claim on you, not really. There was just the…possibility, I guess. The idea of _us_. And I didn't hold it against you, honestly I didn't. I mean, I'm pretty damaged and I know that. And it's not as if I gave you any indication that I was in any way interested. But, of all the women in the world you could have chosen to be with at that moment, she was the least desirable for me to be able to handle." Brennan sighed and stood up. She was beginning to feel like a caged animal and she had to walk off that feeling so she could get everything out in the open. She paced back and forth in front of him as she continued.

"Look, you know that Cam and I got off on the wrong foot. And I take my share of the responsibility for that. I was threatened by her. She came in without any warning, started calling my team members by silly pet names and establishing this instant report with them that had taken me years to develop. And then I find out that you and she had shared a previous relationship…it just made it so hard for me to deal with it all. I was out of my comfort zone….forced out, really. And I despise having to answer to anyone. So yes, I felt threatened not only on a professional level but a personal one as well." She took a deep breath and steeled herself. This next part was painful to remember. "Then, when we were all in Angela's office watching that horrible video from the Graham Hastings case and I saw Cam grab your hand…it was so obvious, and I felt so…_stupid."_

Booth watched her with a growing emptiness in the pit of his stomach. Deep down, he knew that he had fallen into bed with Cam the second time around to try and make an effort to squelch the growing desire he was feeling for Brennan, and now that he knew that she had been having the same feelings…so much time wasted. Booth had just assumed that he was not good enough for her and that she would never feel anything like that for him. God, he felt like the biggest idiot on the planet.

"Bones, you know that I-"

"Booth." He stopped speaking when she spoke his name. The look on her face said it all. _'I need to say this. I don't blame you for anything. Please let me do this.' _He nodded slightly and motioned for her to continue.

"I suppose I could blame my poor judgment in getting involved with Will Hastings on the hurt I was feeling at the time, but that's not fair to either of us. I liked Will, and I had no way of knowing that he had killed Graham. In the end, that whole affair only served to solidify my feeling that I was just too screwed up to be with anyone, much less someone like you…that 'guy hug' you offered me notwithstanding." She smiled softly at him then, and Booth began to feel the tightness in his chest loosening slightly. Had he known that the easiest part of this conversation was over, he might have grabbed his coat and run for the hills.

"And this was all after the Gravedigger took us."


	8. Confessional Part II

Sorry the last chapter was so short, I've been trying to get my bearings back on this story. It came to me, guns blazing, and now has cooled off a bit. I'm more interested now in the emotional aspects of this than I am of the outcome of the Gravedigger trial. So there will probably only be a few more chapters of this one, then maybe a Gravedigger trial story. But not anytime soon. J

Anyway, same disclaimer. You know the drill.

* * *

Chapter Eight~Confessional: Part II

Booth had read the FBI reports of Brennan's and Hodgins' time underground in that car. Just seeing the account in print had been enough to give him nightmares, and he wasn't sure how ready he was to hear about it live and in person.

"Bones, give me a minute. Please?" Booth stood and headed down the hallway to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the tub, trying to get his breathing under control. He knew that he was being a jackass, but it couldn't be helped. Between his own imagination and the written reports, he had a pretty good idea about what went on inside that metal coffin. He still got a sickly, dark feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about how close he had come to losing her…and it had been over 3 years since the ordeal.

Brennan watched as Booth staggered down the hall and ran into the bathroom. She knew that he wasn't looking forward to hearing what she had to say, but she also knew that he would sit on that couch and listen to every word, giving her the moral support she needed. Deep down she felt horrible for putting him through it, especially since he had his own Gravedigger demons to deal with, but she needed him to know what she was thinking while she breathed what she thought were her last breaths on Earth. Thoughts she hadn't even shared with Hodgins, although he knew quite a bit more than Booth at that point. She looked up expectantly when he opened the bathroom door and waited as he settled himself back onto the sofa.

"Sorry, Bones. Go ahead. I'm listening." He sat back and tried to look relaxed, even as he felt anything but.

"Thanks, Booth." She sat on the coffee table, directly across from him. "I know how hard this is for you, believe me I do. But I need to get this out. It's like…like a sickness I need to purge before I can move on and get myself ready to handle this trial."

"I know, Temperance. Just go ahead. I'm ready." Booth reached over and took her hand, rubbing the knuckles with his thumb. "It's okay."

Nodding, Brennan took a deep breath and began.

"When I first woke up in the car, I was totally disoriented and confused. The radio was playing and I didn't have any idea how I had gotten there. I felt the spot on my neck where she had tazed me, but I had a hard time putting it all together. I opened the window, and dirt poured into my lap. That's when I knew. And before I could even begin to come up with a plan, I heard Hodgins groan from the backseat. When I got back there and was able to check out his injuries, I knew that he had been hit by a car like Ryan Kent had been. From that point on, it was a matter of not only trying to find a way to get out of there, but staying alive long enough for you to find us if we couldn't do it ourselves." She took a breather, letting him sit back and rest for a moment himself. She wanted to make sure that he was still with her and that he understood she didn't hold him responsible for anything that happened, even though he almost always took it upon himself to carry those burdens. In fact, if he hadn't seen that puff of smoke from the explosion they set off, they probably wouldn't have survived long enough to be found in that vast quarry. So it was desperately important to her that he understand all of that before she even began to explain the feelings that her note brought out into the open.

"Okay. So, as you know I had to do a little surgery on the fly to ease Hodgins' compartment syndrome. To be honest, that was the scariest part of the whole thing. It took him a long time to wake up and I was afraid I had killed him. But he woke up and that's when he was able to figure out what kind of dirt we were in and what that told us about our location."

Booth listened intently as Brennan went into explicit detail about rigging the cell phone into the horn and finding different ways to extend their air supply. The worst of it was when she described their fear right before they set off the air bag explosion…how they had hugged and essentially said goodbye before crossing the wires. His heart hammered in his chest as he remembered the feeling of running down that gravel-covered pit, eyes completely centered on the place where that life-affirming puff of smoke had come from, not wanting to lose sight of it…the desperate digging, praying for a miracle and finding it when her cold, thin fingers wrapped around his wrist and he was able to yank her out of that hell hole. He shuddered, and Brennan could see that he had had enough of her recap for the time being.

"Anyway, I know that you need to take a break, Booth. So why don't we order some pizza in and take some time." Brennan stood and picked up her cell to order in their dinner.

"Bones, pizza is fine. But I'm a little confused."

"About what?"

"What else do you need to tell me? Is there something else about what happened in the car that you need to tell me, because I thought that you covered the whole ordeal pretty amazingly." He was truly exhausted from the discussion, but he was willing to talk all night if that was what she needed.

"No, nothing else happened in the car like that, Booth. This last part is about the note and what it meant…or means. I just want to gather my thoughts before we get into that. Okay?" Booth nodded his assent.

Brennan dialed the pizzeria around the corner and ordered their usual as Booth sat on the sofa, both dreading and looking forward to the coming revelations. He only hoped that she would tell him what she really was feeling, and not try to break it all down scientifically, until it was nothing resembling human emotion.


	9. How It Should Play Out In Reality

Really quick….the name of Brennan's childhood crush is also the name of my first childhood crush. J I couldn't resist.

And this chapter is very dialogue-heavy. Just stick with me here.

Chapter Nine: How It Should Play Out In Reality

When Temperance Brennan was twelve years old, she fell head over heels in love with the neighbor boy, David Orwick. And being a twelve year old girl, gawky and unsure, she was extremely nervous when she finally confessed her feelings to David over lunch in his small kitchen.

She can still hear his laughter in her head when she thinks about it hard enough.

This situation, however, held more import than the trivial, prepubescent admittance made to her geeky neighbor oh so many years ago. Sitting before her was her entire life's happiness, wrapped in Armani and grace and kindness, and the thought that Booth's reaction was going to be the same as David Orwick's made her stomach clench in fear.

Time to soldier on, then, Temperance.

Taking a deep breath, Temperance Brennan began to explain to Seeley Booth why she was in love with him and had been since he held her close and let her cry in his arms in a dusty barn, all those years ago.

"Booth, you have to understand that I am not the same person I was when you first met me almost 6 years ago. Back then, although I lived with someone, I was really closed off. I think that's the reason, in the end, that Pete finally left. The sex was fine, but I was never _there_, not really anyway. With my history, you learn to be self-contained. And although I tried to let men in, and certainly let Angela in further than any other friend before, my self-preservation instincts always kicked in and I inevitably closed off in one way or another." She took a long pull of the water bottle she was holding, and willed him to continue his silence as she continued.

"Eventually, I was offered the position at the Jeffersonian, and although I was able to bring Angela with me there, it never felt exactly…comfortable. I mean, I love my work and it was everything I always wanted to do. But something was always missing. Then the FBI asked us to consult on some cases, and suddenly I found what I now know is my passion. I love finding the identity of a lost soul, don't get me wrong. But limbo cases were always just that…limbo. No tangible proof that we reunited someone with their loved ones, only an identification and then…nothing. But you came along and added the final piece of the puzzle that I had been working on for so long…every day since my parents walked out that door and never came back. I didn't know it at the time, because I didn't really realize what I was missing, not consciously anyway. I thought I had a good life, that I was fulfilled. Men came and went, and I justified it by remembering that all relationships are ephemeral, that people don't stay, that you can't really count on anyone but yourself. It was all I had known for so long, it became ingrained.

"You know that when we first met, I hated you. I did." Booth chucked and nodded his head, acknowledging what he already knew. He didn't have to tell her that the feeling was, at first, mutual. "But you already knew that. We just did not get along. But we did solve the case, working together that first time. And believe it or not, that gave me a look at what my career was lacking, what I needed. It scared the hell out of me, which is why I immediately went to Guatemala. Back then, I did not adapt well to new experiences, at least not in that respect. And it happened right when things went bad with Pete, which just gave me another excuse to run."

Booth's head was spinning. This was more insight into what Brennan was going through than he ever expected. When she had first started this, he thought she would give him an anthropological explanation of the note she wrote while underground. This baring of her heart and soul was the last thing he predicted. And while he was thrilled that she was comfortable enough with him to share it, he knew that eventually he was going to have to reciprocate…and thoughts of Sweets brains scans were whirling around in his brain, begging to be acknowledged. When she continued speaking, he pushed everything to the side and concentrated on her heartfelt words.

"Your showing up at the airport, having me detained…it was the first time you saved me." Booth couldn't hide the shock on his face. Brennan smiled sadly. "I know. I acted like I didn't want anything to do with you. And I was angry that you were there, but not for the reasons you thought. I was still hiding from what I was feeling, and to have you right there, trying to force me to face what I didn't want to be true…it was disconcerting. I thought that if I just went back to the lab and continued identifying remains and occasionally going on overseas digs that all those emotions would just fade away. But there you were, forcing me to face the demons whether you knew it or not. I was lost, and even though it was completely by accident…you found me. The real me. And I couldn't hide from it anymore. Didn't want to. And that was the first brick you removed from my carefully erected walls."

The ringing of Brennan's cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She picked it up with irritation, and then set it right back down, ignoring it.

"Angela. Probably wanting to know if I'm okay. But I need to finish this tonight, so no more interruptions." She turned off the ringer and set the phone on the table in the kitchen.

"The second time you saved my life, metaphorically not literally, was the day we went to see Vince McVicar at his farm." She repressed a shudder at the thought of the man who had killed her mother, then continued. "He tried to make me believe that I was someone I wasn't, that my mother was something she wasn't. I started to lose my hold on the reality I had known for so long, but you were there again. Holding me and telling me that you knew who I was…that was everything. It was exactly what I needed to hear at exactly the right time. I don't think you know what those five simple words did for me. _'I know who you are.'_ You're the first person who ever really did know who I was. Who I am. And yet, you're still there with me, still holding me up even when I don't want or need you to. And when we were buried in that car…I felt like that even though you weren't there physically, you were there with me…pushing me to find a way to get out, find more air, save ourselves. Like I said, Hodgins said I had faith in you, and I disagreed at first. I told him that I had seen what you could do over time and that logically I knew you would do everything in your power to save us. Logic, not faith. But as I wrote you that note I realized that Hodgins was right. Even though we were in a desperate situation, and even though it seemed like our last ditch attempt to get out was probably going to kill us before it saved us, I still believed that you would get us out. And that was the most irrational thought of all. It really, truly was faith. Is faith. Will always be faith. And that's also when I realized that I loved you."


	10. It's Not Just You

**Alrighty, here's another update. The big enchilada from Booth. Hopefully.**

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"_**But as I wrote you that note I realized that Hodgins was right. Even though we were in a desperate situation, and even though it seemed like our last ditch attempt to get out was probably going to kill us before it saved us, I still believed that you would get us out. And that was the most irrational thought of all. It really, truly was faith. Is faith. Will always be faith. And that's also when I realized that I loved you."**_

**Chapter Ten~ It's Not Just You**

**Whenever Booth imagined this scenario in his head, damaged or otherwise, he always saw himself saying those words first. Then, inevitably, the scene would go one of three ways: She would say she loved him back and throw herself into his arms, she would laugh heartily and pretend it never happened, or she would run for the furthest archeological dig she could find. He never, not once, imagined that she would be the one to say it first. So he hoped that she would understand if it took him a few minutes for his brain to register just exactly what was happening here. **

"**Booth?" Brennan nervously twisted her fingers together, trying unsuccessfully to decipher the look on his face. She'd never seen anything like it. It was almost as if he had, as Angela would say, "gone bye-bye". Brennan had never understood that saying until this moment. "Booth? You're scaring me. Are you okay?"**

**He finally brought his head up to look into her clear, gorgeous, worried blue eyes. "Bones?"**

"**Seriously, Booth. You're not making me feel very comfortable here. Did I say something wrong?" Oh God, she had. He didn't feel the same way…her heart plummeted into her stomach. Then, she realized that his eyes weren't unfocused like she thought they were. **_**He was crying!**_

**Without another rational thought, Brennan launched herself onto the sofa and into his arms, clutching him desperately and releasing three years of pent-up tension as she sobbed against his shoulder. Booth held onto her tight, rubbing soft circles on her back and holding her just as tightly, getting his tears under control as her breath began to hitch and her sobs subsided. He finally leaned back, pulling her head away from his shoulder so he could look her in the eye.**

"**I love you too, Bones."**

"**Really?"**

"**Really."**

"**Why didn't…how…but you said…"**

"**I know, and it was the single dumbest thing I've ever said in my entire life."**

***sniff* "I agree."**

"**I'm so proud of you, Temperance."**

"**Me? Why?"**

**Booth pulled her close again and kissed her temple lovingly. "Because you did something that I have been trying to get the courage to do for over two years now. You put your heart out there and trusted me to catch it, and I couldn't seem to trust you the same way. You're amazing, and I don't deserve you."**

**Brennan shook her head. "Admittedly, I had the easier task. I had the advantage of having you to declare my love to. I, however, am a little harder to make that kind of confession to. I understand that. You were afraid I would either balk or run."**

"**I still should have trusted you."**

"**And you always have. I know you've been conflicted. But there is one thing I did want to know."**

"**What's that?"**

"**Why did you add that qualifier at the end, when you said you loved me? After the clown…"**

**Booth sighed and pulled her off his lap and onto the sofa cushion. "It's a long story…"**


	11. What Were You Thinking?

Sorry this update has been so long in coming. I got caught up in other things.

Also sorry this is so short, but I have plans for good ol Sweets, and I need time to plan them out. Insert evil laugh here

Enjoy!

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What Were You Thinking?

When Dr. Lance Sweets finally stepped out of his office at the Hoover Building and turned to lock the door, the last thing he expected to see was a shadow behind him. When he jumped and squealed like a little girl, he was too scared to be embarrassed. And then he was terrified. A small but powerful hand clutched his windpipe and slammed him against his door. He could barely squeak out a protest when his aggressor moved her face directly into his.

"D-Dr. B-Brennan?" He gasped, unbelieving despite the tangible evidence in front of him.

"Sweets." Brennan tilted her head slightly, studying him as if he were bones on her table. "What did you think you were doing with Booth?"

Sweets began to catalogue the instances he had spoken with Agent Booth outside Dr. Brennan's presence. Each time he flipped through the different scenarios in his mind, it kept stopping on the one moment with Booth that he was simultaneously proud of and terrified to face. "The brain scans?"

"Mmm. Yes. Those." Her clipped delivery did nothing to assuage Sweets' panic.

"What about them? They were real brain scans." He tried to raise his chin defiantly, but only managed to make her tighten her hold on his neck.

"No, they were not. And you know that, Dr. Sweets. In fact, the entire conversation you had with Booth was nothing more than another one of your experiments, wasn't it?"

"I-"

"Wasn't it?!?!?" By now she was practically screaming at him, her free hand clutching his tie, eyes wide and angry.

""Y-yes. Yes, it was an experiment! Yes, okay? I wanted to see-"

"NO!" Brennan released his neck and punched him directly in the face. He could hear as well as feel his nose breaking. "You don't get to be forgiven for this one! I gave you a pass the last time, because I knew that Booth would _kill _you if he found out! But now…now you have even more to fear." She waited while he composed himself, holding a blood-soaked handkerchief to his nose.

"What?" He whispered.

"Me."


End file.
